FoE Relief Society

 Warning..... this post is about death.......

  I have been a loyal follower of CakeWrecks for years, so when Jen created a new blog, Epbot (est.2010) I immediately started following it. Soon things evolved, as they do on the web, and suddenly there were messenger chats and spin-off groups, and I felt I had found my clan. We are all geeky and supportive and it really is the happiest pocket of the internet. 

  In the FoE Ward (fans of Epbot Lds group est. 2017) one of the ladies asked if there were any sisters willing to start another chat to answer some sensitive questions. Several of us were eager to help a fellow sister and the FoE RS (est. 2018) was born. These sisters are my biggest support group. We chat all day long and even have a Marco polo group of about 15 of us. Nothing is off the table and opinions run the gambit, but everyone is so sweet and accepting.  One of our members is even from a different Christian church. We have members all over the world and I know just how special it is. During this pandemic, they have been my lifeline.  

 In October, one of our members, Torii, thought she had food poisoning from a late-night burger after work.  Soon it became apparent that it was something much more serious.  She had been in and out of the hospital several times due to abdominal pain and they just couldn't or wouldn't help her. Finally, she was transferred to a cancer center with stage 4 pancreatic cancer. When she polo-ed us the diagnosis I knew she was telling us it wouldn't be long. That night I told Daniel I wanted to be at her funeral and he said, we will make that happen. She was an amazing woman and knew that it was her time to go, leaving behind her husband, 5 sweet children, and us along with countless others who had the privilege to call her friend. 

 The night before she passed we had the opportunity to zoom her and tried to sing her favorite hymn. Jen, the creator of Cake Wrecks and Epbot joined us. It was terrible sounding but so cathartic for us all. 

  I was so happy we got to say goodbye. It really meant a lot to me. See these amazing women? They are the best! John is pretty great too, he's Jen's husband and is so supportive of her escapades. 

 The funeral was on Torii's birthday, Nov 21. Since it was a Saturday, it made my going so easy. Daniel has Fridays off anyway and I left in the afternoon on Thursday and stayed with one of the ladies who lives 4 hours away. In the days leading up to this trip, our polos were all about planning, who was coming, where they were staying when would they get there, etc. Natalia had graciously opened her home to 5 of us, and she was commenting about how great it would be if we rented a 15 passenger van so we could all go together. I quickly replied that I had a 14 passenger van and I would be willing to drive it up. She was ecstatic. I was glad to have some small way to contribute.

 I drove to my friend's house on Thursday, and just to show you how awesome these people are, check out her front door!

Yup, my people! This was our first time meeting in real life and it was so easy and natural. We had dinner, played a few games, and then went to bed. It was so nice to have someone with me for the next leg of the trip. Pocatello is four and a half hours from Payette and it went by so fast as we chatted our way there. We pulled up to Natalia's house and it was hugs all around. Friday night was the viewing, we met up with the other ladies there. Three of our number were very close to Torii, so they were privileged to go early and dress her body. One of them had made her dress to resemble her wedding dress. She made sure there were pockets and we put some chocolate, googly eyes, and a felt taco in them. We all hung together and tried not to cry too much. Torii's little Ruth was quite in her element. She loved telling everyone what was what! 

 I have attended quite a few funerals in my day. I have seen many friends laid to rest. Sometimes it makes me feel so old, watching all my friends die. Isn't that supposed to happen when you are over 70? Okay, I'm sorry, feeling sorry for myself a bit. Anyway, as I said I have attended quite a few viewings, and never before had I had such a violent reaction to seeing my loved one in a coffin. I was internally screaming at her to stop playing around and GET UP! I had to leave the room and take a few breaths and compose myself. It was so nice to finally hug my friends. Torii's best friend since they were 12 was there and she had some choice stories to share with us. It was a sweet and funny moment. Just like Torii.  

 We helped clean up the personal effects and spoke to Torii's husband Doug for a minute. Poor thing, he's extremely introverted so dealing with the sudden onslaught of decisions and people was very taxing for him on top of his grief. He was so sweet to us though, thanking us for coming and being a part of Torii's life. He shared how they knew this was what was supposed to happen and that Torii was at peace with it when she died. He also shared his testimony about the atonement and eternal life that was sustaining him. There we were, in the middle of winter standing in a darkened parking lot, sharing our hearts. Not many moments are as poignant. 

 We were asked to come the next morning to help set up, which we were more than happy to do. It was nice to be useful. The funeral was broadcast and people from around the globe tuned in. We had a live chat going too. It was sweet and beautiful and occasionally hilarious. My mask was soaked with tears. The ward had provided a sack lunch for those going up to the internment. Doug's family is from a tiny town 2 hrs away from Pocatello, that was where she was being interred. We grabbed some lunches and headed out. 

This is her kids visiting other family graves. It was so sweet watching her oldest show them to her baby.

Torri's favorite color is purple so her casket is purple.

After the internment, we were invited to dinner with the family but declined. They needed time to process and we did too. We headed back to Torri's house because before she passed they had their steps redone and she put her handprint in the cement and the bishop encouraged everyone to visit and hold her hand. It was a tender moment for us. 

We returned to Natalia's for tacos and lava cake, one of Torri's favorites. We played games and just had a blast being together.

  We even were able to zoom with some other ladies so it was wonderful. We stayed up way too late and laughed too hard and it was glorious! I was sad to leave the next morning. We dubbed it Torri Con and are already planning the next one! We made t-shirts and got taco socks. I cannot say enough how much I love these women! Amy and I left and I was so sad to drop her off. I got home late afternoon and my family was excited about my return. I was glad to be home. Hug your loved ones if you can, you never know when it will be the last time.