To All The Girls I Have Loved Before

This month is marked by a holiday that is met with both gratitude and dread. Increasingly over the years, I have come to realize just how much Mother's Day can hurt the very recipients of the attention it wants to recognize. This day can come like a bolt of an avenging angel to the hearts of many women. Women who dearly need to feel the warm embrace of maternal comfort. I have struggled to write this for fear of not getting it right, but I feel this subject is one I can not let pass another year in silence. 

  My dear sisters, Mother's Day is not solely to honor and acknowledge those who birthed us.  It is a day to celebrate what women do best. Women help others achieve their potential. They support, understand, and correct those lucky enough to come into their sphere of influence. Many are the times I have had a woman come into my life who has challenged, helped, and refined me. I am who I am today due to the sustaining influences of amazing women who have graced me with their love, friendship, and wisdom. 

  That being said I can absolutely commiserate with those who find Mother's Day a time of sorrow. My first Mother's Day I mistakenly admitted my feelings of inadequacy and said I didn't feel like I deserved a gift because I was not "A Mother." My husband took this to mean I didn't want a gift and he accordingly did not celebrate Mother's day for me for many years. He still brings this incident up each year, and it still hurts. Beyond that, I have twice lost a pregnancy, and feeling the pain of those events adds an extra barb to the "unworthy" trope. It can make a day set aside to celebrate mother's just that much more painful. Regardless if you have felt the wounds of child loss, loneliness, unfulfilled dreams or other feelings of "unworthiness" to be celebrated on this special day, I want to tell you that you are enough! You are helping, lifting, and inspiring so many people. And that is worth celebrating. So if you find yourself in a chapel next year listening to children singing about how much they love Mothers and when a bishopric member askes you to stand to receive that treat you can't eat or quote you don't want, please, please know that it is intended to recognize your value and not to belittle your situation or remind you of your loss. You are so loved and so necessary. I need you. I love you. Keep on being the amazing daughter of God that you are!